'It was all built on lies': After secretly being suspended from school, a girl lied to her family about attending a study program in Edinburgh, used the money to travel instead, when family discovers the truth, her sister struggles to forgive her

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Sep 24, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

You know, when you hear a crazy story, and it seems like that's exactly all it could be…some unrealistic, fictional tale. Well, this story seems like it could've been ripped out of the pages of a family drama novel, yet it shockingly seems to be true…This college student was too scared to tell her parents that she had been suspended, so instead she pretends to be in an exchange program in Edinburgh, whilst actually spending all that time and money travelling. Her parents believe all their money is going towards an education, yet it's being spent on flights and hotels right under their noses! This girl must have an emotional off button, because we couldn't last a day with this kind of guilt… 

Her sister back home is struggling to come to terms with her sister's manipulation and dishonesty, elements that have been the foundation of their relationship for the past few months. When this student finally returns home, she admits to what she has done and begs forgiveness, but their whole family is unable to wrap their minds around the amount of time, money, and effort she has purposely wasted out of fear of taking responsibility for her reckless actions.

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  • How can you forgive someone who has been so deceitful, especially at the expense of those you love and respect? Maybe forgiveness comes with time, but does living a double life mean longer sentencing…? For all we know, she may never have even attended college in the first place. If someone can lie about such big things in their lives, we worry about what else they’ve been dishonest about. 

  • "She told everyone she was going on a school exchange program in Edinburgh, but she was actually suspended"
    via rossandhelen

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Last year, my sister lied to our entire family. She told everyone she was going on a school exchange program in Edinburgh, but in reality she had been suspended.
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  • Instead of being honest, she used the money my parents gave her for "school" to just... travel around.
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  • My mom even flew with her to Edinburgh to help her "get settled in." Later, my dad flew out too because she called him crying.
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  • He thought she was struggling with the exchange, but she never admitted the truth. The only reason my parents eventually found out is because my dad accidentally texted *her* instead of my mom,
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  • saying he thought she was lying (since her living situation didn't add up). That's when she finally confessed.
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My parents spent so much money on her and it was all built on lies. It really hurt seeing how much time, stress, and money they wasted trying to support her.
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  • Now that she's back, she wants to spend more time with me and rebuild our relationship. But honestly, I just... don't love her the way I used to.
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  • I don't want to hang out with her constantly like nothing happened. It feels fake to forgive and forget when she betrayed everyone's trust so badly.
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  • Before this happened, she would also always try to manipulate me into doing stuff with her, even though I explained I was stressed with other things.
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  • She would always make me feel bad if I didn't want to do something with her. She also does not respect my boundaries.
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  • AITA for not wanting to spend that much time with my sister after what she did?

    One time we went out for dinner and she kept getting really close to me even though I like my personal space and I told her this and she kept doing it
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  • and when I got annoyed she said "its just because I love you" if you loved me you would respect my boundaries and not make me uncomfortable!
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  • So AITA for not wanting to spend much time with my sister after everything she did? I told my mom why I didn't really want to spend time with her but she just said I needed to forgive her.
    via cuteapple213
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • grayblue_grrl NTA.... She is a liar and cheat. No one is going to forget that. She's lost trust and respect. She has to earn that back and not demand everything just like normal.
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  • You don't need to "forgive" her. She needs to earn that forgiveness. If she doesn't understand that she learned - nothing from the whole experience. Keep your boundaries.
    via grayblue_grrl
  • That-Evening-5163 NTA. She needs to rebuild that trust with you and your parents before asking for forgiveness or at least make up for all the resources they spent on her. She was already disrespectful about your boundaries and priorities before the incident so I completely understand why you would feel
    via -Evening-5163
  • uncomfortable with forgiving her in the first place. I think over time if she actually takes responsibility for her actions and shows a genuine desire to change and rekindle her relationship with you, then it may be easier to forgive her.
    via -Evening-5163
  • Dana07620 ΝΤΑ Now that know who she really is and understand how she manipulates people, you should be able to withstand her manipulations.
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  • Or you could shut her down by saying every time, "No, I don't want to be with someone who could lie like you do. I can't trust a word out of your mouth."
    via Dana07620
  • mcindy28 NTA Keep your boundaries and distance. You get to make the decision on whether or not. you want to have a relationship with her.
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  • Wild_Black_Hat It's not a matter of forgiveness, you no longer trust her at all and she doesn't respect you. You can't have a relationship without trust and respect. It's the natural consequence of her behaviour. She can't force you to trust her and neither can you.
    via Wild_Black_Hat
  • bad s-vibes22 NTA, not good on your sister. She sounds immature and kinda annoying if you'd ask me, maybe a little possessive.
    via bad**s-vibes22
  • Owenashi NTA. She's broken trust with both you and your parents. And it doesn't sound like she was much better towards you BEFORE the lying and fraud/theft. You're ultimately not obligated to spend time with her just because you're siblings.
    via Owenashi

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family drama tuition funds edinburgh supportive sisters forgiveness askreddit wasted family feud tension Travel entitled family dishonest daughter Reddit suspended parents
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